THE DAY OF RECKONING: BUT WILL THE SENATOR FIGHT AND STALL TO THE END OF THE RAINBOW?

The day of reckoning has finally arrived! Today, a clearer picture of Senator Isaac’s fate is expected to emerge; but given the complexity of the issue, my predictions on the outcome of today's proceedings will be "non-directional". Nonetheless, I will still share a few hypothetical pointers with you.

There’s the “hypothesis” that if the matter is not satisfactorily resolved, then it may end up not just in Court but also in fracturing the CSA down the middle potentially resulting in a bloc of the membership pulling out of it.

A source close to LUCELEC indicated that many of the company’s CSA members are extremely disillusioned about the implications of the “politicisation” of the CSA by the president; consequently, he alleges, the possibility of a massive withdrawal from the Trade Union (if its leadership can’t be “de-politicised” and “sanitised”) may be an option that is both imminent and real.

I have also got an unmistakable impression that there also seems to be an emerging voice in the court of public opinion calling on Senator Isaac to “come clean” and to give up one of the “conflicting caps” she wears to bring an amicable resolution to the current controversy; but she has categorically defied the call. My view is the Senator-President overtime has demonstrated that her “faculties for compromise” are secondary to her “testicular fortitude” and that she is not prepared to "go down" without a fight irrespective of the collateral damage.

A general view is Senator Mary has a "golden dream" and regardless of the collateral damage she will “fight” and “stall” until she realises her dream.

The big question is: Will a fight wearing two "heavy caps" on the same head give her an advantage? It may! With the UWP machinery behind her, she may be well-placed to benefit from her Party’s “resources” and expertise; but that it can be dangerously and thoughtlessly irresponsible for Senator Mary to "convert" this potentially explosive industrial issue into a straight case between the UWP vs the CSA.  

Equally too, the “two hats” scenario may well turn out to be a crushing dilemma which might be weighing much too heavily on Senator Mary. Indeed, there are suggestions that it may have started taking an unkind toll on her uniquely characteristic testicular fortitude. It is beginning to look like that the two hats are much too heavy for her to carry in the same "time and space".

The breach of protocol in the House yesterday (whether planned or deliberate) was a just another symptom of the Senator’s dilemma.  

My view is the petition may have rattled her and may have her running scared. The counter-petition she referenced spoke volumes of her desperation. Obviously, it was conceived to abort the petition; but it looks like it is destined to crucify the very person it was designed to help.  Further, if the petition was “unconstitutional” (as Senator Mary said), then why would the counter petition (which she embraces) be “constitutional”?

In dealing with the two rival petitions, her apparent naivety reared its ugly head again. She may have had “testicular fortitude” which may have enabled her to take the “bull by the horns”. In fact, she may be everything else she wishes to be but there are two things she may never be: strategic and diplomatic.

I fear she may well turn out to be a version of NICE-NIGGA placard bearer for the UWP again . . . this time depriving Team Chastanet from savouring the fruits of the “labour” of the “march of all marches”.

This week may well be the Senator’s worst ever on her journey to "the end of the rainbow". The Leprechauns guarding the "treasure" have risen in anguish against her! My concluding "hypothesis" is: whether she ends up winning or losing today's round, she will eventually lose both the battle and the war. 

THE POLITICALLY DESTRUCTIVE GAME OF NUMBERS

“4000 minus 1 equals zero . . . but will 3000 minus 1 also equal zero?”

After Team Chastanet’s boast of a highly successful match (with what their in-house experts claimed to have 4000 persons in attendance), they seem to be back to “square one” again.  A single placard-holder (out of the whopping 4000 who marched) apparently reduced the much touted accrued political “gains” to a “perfect zero”.

THE PLACARD THAT TORPEDOED THE MARCH

Newton's second law of motion which states that to every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction was defied and destroyed momentarily by the sheer ferocity and intensity of the public reaction to the offensive "NIGGA" placard! In this specific instance, the sum total of the reaction seems to have far exceeded the action to the point where it may have comprehensively torpedoed the success of the match as a sleeping army of multitudes of the conscious St. Lucians was suddenly awakened from their slumber and ambivalence to “mutiny” against that horrendous insult against our human dignity and identity.  Their reaction could have also been further fueled by their disillusionment that Mr Chastanet had categorically refused to disassociate himself with that offensive "NIGGAS” placard.

The whole episode marks an unfortunate chapter in our history; in the worst case scenario, it was a potentially dangerous explosive loaded with the possibility that could even spark a civil war and I’m sure Mr Chastanet and his advisors might have on hindsight considered that possibility. Indeed, that could have easily happened in racially charged Guyana and Trinidad or historically militant Jamaica. 

Perhaps, at this time, Mr. Chastanet is doing some serious introspection and he is probably "angry" at himself for his lack of proactivity. He is probably eager to permanently erase this episode from his memory and from our history, if he could; but he has only himself to blame, for he was given the opportunity to redeem himself and he refused it.

So, what’s next? Will hurricane-strong reaction to the NICE NIGGA placard (which has caught the attention of the world) continue to increase in intensity or will it turn out to be a brief passing drizzle? 

The outcome of Round 2 may well be the decider. 

Team Chastanet’s tentacles spread “far and wide”  . . . from the UWP headquarters all the way to the bosom of the CSA! Therefore, it may be logical to assume that whatever happens at Chastanet’s headquarters will not only spill onto the streets (as was the case with the march), but may also hit the bosom of the CSA where a subset of the executive including the president are card-carrying UWP members!

If we accept that Round 1 were disastrous (on a scale of 4000:1), (whether Senator Mary was present or absent with excuse), then what will be the outcome of Round 2 scheduled for February 11 when she has to “MARCH” to the music of the CSA heroic petition?

The mathematics of Rounds 1 and 2 are not entirely dissimilar! Round 1 had a ratio of 4000:1; if the number of civil servants is 3000, then the ratio for Round 2 is 3000:1. As the CSA petitioners embark on their heroic MARCH to rescue their Union from "politicization", the question remains: will Round 1 be replicated in Round 2 with Senator Mary starring as Team Chastanet’s metaphorical placard-bearer?

Whatever the outcome, Round 2 may well be the true litmus test for the testicular fortitude widely attributed to CSA president. Has that fortitude pushed her too far in the wrong direction?

The petitioning heroes are of the seeming belief that they have a logically and morally ironclad “conflict-of –interest” case against their President turned Opposition senator; but are the moral and logical arguments enough ammunition against the UWP senator? Will their heroism be enough be good enough and strong enough to carry them past the finishing line?

Mary is the superstar in St. Lucia's first ever political Aesop fable. The question is: will her testicular fortitude be enough to enable her to keep both bones – sorry! I meant to enable her to keep the CSA Presidential cap while wearing the UWP senatorial hat?

Even before this controversy is brought to its final resolution, I urge the president CSA to reflect on the maxim that Politics is a "game" with "aims". The aim is power! The game includes manipulation, lies and deceit (among other things). 

I pray that the agenda of the UWP clique inside the CSA executive is NOT to conflate or converge the aim and game of the CSA and the UWP in their selfish pursuit of power or political patronage.

LOOMING DILEMMAS

With less than 48 hours to go before Team Chastanet’s historic demonstration of hypocrisy disguised as a march for the poor, let’s take a peep into some of the looming dilemmas that he faces.

March for the poor

Team Chastanet's original reason to march was against the implementation of a "pass-through mechanism" recommended by the Eastern Caribbean Currency Authority (ECCB). However, between the "conception" and the "implementation" of the decision to march, the reason(s) has\have gone through a serious of uncommon and "anomalous permutations" to the point where the raison d'etre seemed to have crumbled under the weight of its own anomalies. The last permutation - true to the Chastanet idiosyncrasy masked in illogical clothing - is  disguised as a march for the poor! Who would have ever thought that the Chastanets would one day march in the HOT SUN for the poor?

A  shared emotional moment

Politics can be rationale

It would be a fallacy to assume that politics is not logically driven; indeed, the politics of President Obama, Ralph Gonzalves, Angela Merkel, Roosevelt Skerrit and (indeed) our very own Dr Kenny Anthony (among others) are primarily driven by logic!  But it is unequivocally clear that Team Chastanet’s brand of politics is more rooted in irrationality (and hypocrisy) than logic.

Dilemmas of Team Chastanet

Five (largely) rhetorical but fundamental questions therefore emerge:

Firstly, what drives a billionaire-politician whose family has a history of milking the poor in St. Lucia to take to the streets on their behalf?

Secondly, what drives that politician (who comes from the upper class and whose family owns a monopoly of the supermarket chain which has been strangling the poor with excessively high prices) to want to march for them?  

How are the Dilemmas impacting on Hermangild?

Thirdly, how would that politician reconcile his "march for the poor" with the unconscientious firing of 12 Soufriere tourism hostesses (who were poor and vulnerable) when he was Minister for Tourism? And by extension, is there any truth to the allegations of a conspiracy with hoteliers to lay off workers in the industry to give him a political advantage?

Fourthly, what is in Mr Chastanet’s Curriculum Vitae (CV) that suggest he ever supported the poor/vulnerable and the oppressed?

Fifthly, isn’t it “comical” that Mr Chastanet is marching against a 15% reduction in the price of fuel and a 35% government subsidy on the price of cooking gas but he remains absolutely silent on the rising price of items in the supermarkets? 

Obviously, each of the above questions presents serious dilemmas which Team Chastanet needs to resolve and reconcile with the march for the poor.

Split personality syndrome?

On hindsight, it would not be untenable to suggest that Dr Rigobert’s seeming “crocodile tears” during a UWP public meeting in Vieux Fort might well have represented either (1) an involuntary reaction to fatally gaping political and ideological holes that her leader continues to dig; or (2) an indication of the magnitude of the pain she feels inside with respect of the insurmountable nature of challenges posed by those dilemmas!

Team Chastanet’s political and ideological “split-personality” syndrome is apparently creating more problems than solving them.

Hail Mary . . .

In the above context, what is the President of the St. Lucia’s largest Trade Union doing in the midst of Team Chastanet? If Chastanet's intentions are dressed in irrationality and hypocrisy, then what about Mary's? Why is she calling on the rank and file membership of an organization "conceived and ruled by statute" and designed to be "politically-neutral" to join a political march? If that is not a cardinal sin against the professionalism and integrity of the civil service, then what is? Indeed, Mother Mary jumped into the "Chastanet paradigm" and in the process she has committed two cardinal sins: firstly, she has "exposed herself the elements"; and secondly, she has "officially" dragged the Civil Service into gutter politics!

Consequently, UWP Senator, Mary Isaac, has a very difficult tightrope to navigate:  on one side, she has to cope with the highly sophisticated and politically-neutral Civil Service terrain (of which she is President); on the opposite side, she has to deal with a disorganized UWP terrain (where she seats as a senator). How she balances herself between those two terrains has become a matter of much debate and controversy ever since she became a UWP senator. Two recent developments have summarized the gravity of dilemma she faces: On the one hand, her UWP colleagues (especially Guy Joseph) have shown a blatant lack faith in the professionalism and integrity of the civil servants who implement and oversee the pass-through mechanism used to compute the price of gas at the pumps. On the other hand, members of the CSA have filed a petition for her removal from the office of president. How does she contend with those two equally powerful but opposite developments?

CSA vs UWP

Senator Isaac may have erroneously conflated the raison d'etre, agenda and "rules" of the UWP with those of the CSA; but she must understand that while in the UWP, Chastanet may be the Boss (and his decisions may be final),  in the public service, the membership is the Boss and it is it's "decisions that are final"!

In all her blissful simplicity, she will soon discover - that despite the euphoria and glory associated with her elevation to the Senate - that the simultaneous occupation of the two conflicting positions may very well turn out to be a very sharp double-edged sword waiting to execute her.  We are all eager to see how she reconciles the interest of the civil service with the interest of the UWP and be able to survive the execution.

Now that she has gone to the extreme to put her neck on the block by galvanizing support among the public servants to participate in the UWP March, the question is: has she thrown more fuel into an already raging conflagration of anger? In view of the "statutory neutrality" and "political heterogeneity" of the "noble" civil service she heads, is it a smart thing to seek to mobilise support for a political march? Will civil servants heed her call and rally around her or will her attempt to persuade public servant to participate in a political event bring more dissonance among their rank and file? Will her historical precedent have any ripple effects on the industrial relations climate in St. Lucia? How will the other public unions manage the interface with Mary Isaac as a UWP senator?

I would not be surprised if observers (like me and you) believe that Senator Mary may have contracted the virus of desperation endemic in Team Chastanet’s political paradigm. Just as Guy couldn't differentiate between the simple concepts of "average" and "estimate", Senator Isaac seems equally helpless in summoning her faculty of reason to enable her to demarcate the limits of the boundaries in the two conflicting terrains that she serves. While she has shown utter disrespect and mistrust for solidarity with the Trade Union Federation (TUF), she has plunged headlong into the UWP for their support and solidarity.

The crux

The crux of the matter remains: Will St. Lucians participate in a pseudo-march based on hypocrisy, lies and illogic? Why would any rational St. Lucian want to march against a most welcomed drop in the price of gas at the pump?  Why would any rational St. Lucian march against a measure which has brought much relief to them and in the days ahead will bring even more relief to them? Why would a nation of reason support such a nonsensical move designed to make a mockery of our Nobel laureate month?

In conclusion, I will always put country before self or party. I will stand up for the pass-through mechanism in the same way I stood up for VAT. Both have positive fiscal implications for the growth and development of my country. Moreover, I’m always prepared to make short-term sacrifices for the long-term good of my country, irrespective of the party political party in power.

I wish I could say the same for Mr Chastanet and Senator Mary Isaac!

THE CHRISTMAS STORY (2014): ROPE CONVENTION

Imagine three Christmas seasons have elapsed since Santa spoke to the Boss and the indomitable campaign team that romped electoral victory home to him! Remember! The team's star-girl who was also Chairperson of Santa’s cabinet was Lady Bithiah whose spirit graciously heralded the campaign from beginning to end. She was “the lady at the wheel” who tirelessly and proudly drove the mighty Santa to every nook and cranny of the kingdom and did so for absolutely no reward. Not only was she the "iron lady" at the wheel; she was invariably the impetus and energy for the campaign.

Three-plus years have now elapsed; and we are now into the fourth year of his term. Strangely, when everyone thought that Santa was packing his bag and was on his way out, suddenly and out of the blue, he is showing renewed interest in another term.

There are many speculations for Santa's rationale to want to throw his hat in the ring again. One dominant school of thought is that the Flambeaus are facing much difficulty in identifying a strong, viable candidate. Another school of thought is Santa was hoping that either Choiseul or Gros Islet would be sub-divided; and he was therefore contemplating on running in Choiseul-East or Gros Islet-North. But that didn't materialise and so he has to return to his kingdom. 

Santa never "mastered" the kingdom; he never had an intimacy with his subjects and he never explored without his protective entourage. A recent windscreen survey suggests that he is now even further away from his subjects than he was 4 years ago. However, Santa is pretty smart. He might not be intimate with the kingdom but he is pretty much aware of the calculus which delivered victory to him in the last election. Hence, he is now determined at all costs to conjure up a miracle to recruit the scattered sheep. 

His number one target understandably is his former campaign Boss who last met personally since  December 2011. He must by the hook or by the crook win him over; he has promised the PM with a high level of certainty that he would be successful in this endeavour!  So, it is not strange that he is now crouching in all forms of undignified postures to “rope” in the Boss into his camp again! 

Earlier, the ChoiseulPowerhouse reported that Santa had dispatched his special envoy (Adam) for the kingdom to pave the way for a rapprochement. Rumors are rife that part of the strategy is, he plans to recite even the most difficult “Act of Contrition” to “rope in” all the renegades, deserters and saboteurs back into the camp, irrespective of costs and implications; but apparently, the road to "ROPE" is not easy. 

Earlier, the "758 Blog" disclosed that Santa had broached a fruitless attempt to re-ignite the “campaign relationship” with the Boss by sending a Facebook friendship request to him. “758” also disclosed that Santa had also been using the services of SLP’s self-appointed “Facebook ambassador-at-large” (on SLAP) to help “defrost” the “subzero” relationship with Boss. However, unconfirmed subsequent reports suggest that the Boss is impenetrable and in-displaceable. Hence, the likelihood of a potential reconciliation still remains at “Zero Kelvin” with no apparent movement in sight.

What initially seemed like a simple issue to Santa and his top-heavy body of advisors is now turning to be a complex, almost impossible calculus problem.

The “PowerHouse” has since learnt that Adam has submitted his preliminary report on his initial meeting with the Boss to a protective belt of consultants and the consensus among them is the prospects look remote but might not impossible. Although the report has not been released to the Kingdom, sources close to Santa have leaked that his major headache remains the fact that the Boss continues to tenaciously hold on to the “Souccouyan” perspective and he continues to spitefully and irrationally market it in ruthless ways all over the kingdom. The strategy among Santa’s consultants is (therefore) to contain and control the probability of a potentially deadlocked public skirmish with the Boss that may result in ripple effects that may have deadly electoral consequences.

Santa is fully aware of the propensities of the Boss for skirmish/warfare and the resultant devastating consequences for his re-election campaign.

Santa has confessed to his close confidantes that the little fires on the kingdom’s “17 ridges” which started with the Boss' allegations of Souccouyan representation may now have blossomed into emerging boiling cauldrons, and he fears their eventual development into a potentially major volcano. Santa’s major strategy has therefore been to debunk the Souccouyan myth which the Boss has so skillfully been woven into his popular Souccouyan paradigm. Indeed - with the institution of a movement called ROPE (a pseudonym for “Representing Ourselves Par Excellence”) - the Boss has taken the Souccouyan idea to the extreme, roping in some of the most formidable intellectuals in the kingdom and diaspora.

While Santa's agenda is total reconciliation with his kingdom, the BOSS has other ideas. He has convened the “ROPE CONVENTION” where he plans to dégajé Santa for once and for all.

The venue for the convention was his own home in Valois, Choiseul and the date was Christmas day 2014.

Present were all executive members of ROPE, dignitaries and invited guests such the MOSES, LADELIN EMPEROR, SAUL, LORD BOBOL, DREAD I FRED, LADY BITHIAH and three former parliamentary reps who are honorary members of ROPE!

Contrary to popular beliefs in the kingdom, ROPE has no links to the free mason society.

By decree, every member and participant was due to attend the meeting with a piece of "holy" rope which was regarded as a valid membership licence.

The meeting was called to order at 10 am; after prayers and the ROPE anthem, the business of day got on the way.

The Boss started with a brief history of ROPE and an exposition on the heuristics of Souccouyan representation theory. He was about halfway in his presentation when Adam angrily interrupted:

ADAM: Fellahs, stop calling Santa a Souccouyan! You all claimed to be respectful and educated with PhD’s . . . and all you do is to throw low blows! Just remember that Santa is also a criminal attorney and it’s a matter of time before he unleashes his fury on you in a court of law!

DREAD I FRED: Is that representation we getting? Action against his own subjects in a court of law?

SAUL: If you don't want us to call him "Souccouyan", then you must tell him to stop treating us like Caribs and Arawaks. Massa days done!

LADY EVE: But you all behave like damn Caribs and Arawaks! Adam is damn right! If push come to shove . . . and we must hauled you before a court of law, then that's exactly we will do! Bruce scared the hell out of you all when he threatened to sue;  but we don't threaten! We deliver! We have to put an end to that foolish crusade that you have embarked on! Don't you realise that Santa holds the prestigious position of Czar for the Tourism kingdom? Don't you recognise the damage that you all do to his reputation when you hurl insults at him? Those petty  jealous taunts must stop now!  Santa had good reason to fire the whole damn bunch to bring in new blood.  He was right to fire Boss, Moses, Bithiah, de Wiseman from the East and to marginalise the PhD blokes (like Dread I Fred and Lord Bobol). You think Santa stupid? Santa will work only with subjects he can manipulate; he wants the bright fellahs who will “jump” when he says “jump”; fellahs who will keep quiet when he says “shut up”! Fellahs who will make it easy for him to implement the mandate of the Kingdom and help him bring Xmas gifts to all. Fellahs like Adam and Steve. 

The Boss banged his gavel and called the meeting to order! Adam and Eve cried foul over de Boss iron-fisted approach to the coduct of the meeting. They refused to comply and staged a walk-out.

At that point the LADELIN Emperor stood up to compliment the Boss for his strong decisive action and the meeting resumed!

LADELIN EMPEROR: Boss, at this point, I beg to move a motion that either the POWERHOUSE or CHOISEUL-ON-THE-MOVE publish for all to see the cowardly action of Adam and Eve at the ROPE convention - an action which was apparently designed to mash up the only true “grassroot forum” ever held in this kingdom.  

BOSS: The question is: We publish the disgraceful conduct of Santa's men for the Cyberworld to see. All in favour raise the ROPE!

The decision was unanimous and the meeting continued!

LADELIN EMPEROR: Boss, for the record, I must point out to members the magnitude of ROPE’s contribution to the development of the kingdom. Were it not for ROPE’s advocacy, the people of Monrouge[j1] , MORNE Zion etc would be languishing in water problems! Also Boss . . . the people of Fiette would have no road. De people of Daban would be cut out from civilization. Even Park Estate (the poorest community in our midst) has benefited. Those projects materialized at the time when Souccouyan representation was at its peak. So, let Adam, Steve and Eve rant. Let Lord Kelvin crunch his numbers. It's all about ROPE. Let them feel the full might of ROPE. They are beginning to feel the pressure and beginning to feel guilty too! They must pay for the cardinal sins they have committed against the kingdom. ROPE! ROPE! ROPE!

A thunderous applause followed, and the LADELIN EMPEROR apparently bouyed by the applause continued with his voice near crescendo level:

LADELIN EMPEROR (continuing): Last Xmas, Santa didn’t even come and see us, blaming everything on the Xmas trough! A ton of my people from LADELIN was trapped like refugees on the other side of the Piaye Bridge; and Santa didn’t give a damn about them! During Tomas, Bruce hired a helicopter to drop by; and post-Thomas, he spent all his time with us in the kingdom caring for us! Can’t we see that Santa’s heart is not with the poor people of the kingdom? Neither Kenny nor Pip owns jet planes but they both easily found their way to Piaye the day after the trough and caused a Bailey bridge to be built in record time! Where was Souccouyan Santa? 

SAUL: (apparently pumped up): Did you expect Santa to do anything? Did you expect the Millionaire Prince of Tourism to have anything to do with "de poor" in my community? Do you expect a prince with billionaire parents; a prince who own a fleet of airplanes; a man who sports the most lavish SUV ever invented to have any empathy for the poor? Since Santa’s Kingdom come, Roblot has been begging Santa to do something about the Community Centre and library but not one little “Tiwe …”

BOSS: (Swiftly Interrupting) Saul, we do not wish to bring the kingdom’s Convention into disrepute; Saul, I must caution you that you must use only honorable language when you speak. I will not allow you to continue.

SAUL: I withdraw the comment. But Boss, my point is: things have gone so bad in the kingdom that I had to convert my Entertainment Centre into a Tabernacle! The subjects have no money to buy Piton anymore!

LADELIN EMPEROR: All you excoriated Ti Chass for being a prodigal minister for Tourism; but none of you talking about the rich and famous lifestyle of the Tourism Prince who can’t even deliver a Christmas gift to the poor; and you all had the heart to make him our Santa? Nowhere else in the world is that possible! He is right to treat us like troglodytes, like Caribs and Arawaks! Anyway, you get what you deserve! How can a kingdom in the doldrums of poverty identify with that type of Santa?

At that point, the door flung open and in come Adam, Eve, Steve and their entourage.

ADAM: Boss! I’m sorry for my earlier dishonorable behavior! I’m sorry that I lost my cool. Santa has asked me to return to the convention and to remain here until his arrival which should be shortly!  Boss . .  Let’s be honest with ourselves: Santa has been Helen’s most efficient Tourism Czar since Tourism was invented down here! He remains successful even when his gov’t is failing! I want this convention to understand that Santa serves the two largest kingdoms under the sun! But I’m sure you will agree that the tourism kingdom is much larger and more critical; and, hence, it deserves far greater attention; it is the kingdom that brings in the money! So while honourable Santa flies looking for the tourist dollar, I man Adam from the Old Fort (supported by Steve)  hold the fort in kingdom by default. Isn't that an ideal formula for representation? De hotels have Santa for his efficiency and productivity and have embraced him wholeheartedly.  Why shouldn’t we? In fact, the Tourist Kingdom has bestowed the Industry’s highest award upon him. They have made him “VIP extraordinaire” for the duration of his tenure! Even Ti Chass love him and have recommended that this “ex gratia” award be conferred on him for life. If you were Santa, wouldn’t you have sang even louder for your supper?”

SAUL: (rather flippantly) No wonder he is so eager to win again. Why doesn't he run in the next kingdom? If they love him so much, then why don’t the hotel Kingdom elect him? But I wonder if the Tourist kingdom know about his performance in his own kingdom, what would they do? And if they did, would they even entrust him to be their water boy? They would probably have other ideas!

EVE: We have to give Santa his jacket, too! Last year was a difficult Xmas for him. He was extremely busy looking after the Tourist kingdom and it was impossible to attend to Choiseul/Saltibus. How do we expect Santa to come down when de trough blew away the Piaye Bridge? Adam was always on the ground, ably assisted by Lord Kevin! In fact, Adam and me in the West and Lord Kelvin and Steve in the Far East!

SAUL: Give Santa his Jacket? Santa wears a jacket a day! Doesn’t he have enough? Santa has a wardrobe filled with suits and Jackets! He does not deserve anymore! We are the ones in need of the jackets!

 Suddenly, there was silence! The door flung open and in came Santa. Immediately and without observing the convention standing orders, he started swinging at the Boss with unimaginable fury. Initially, the Boss thought of checkmating him; but he didn't. He extended to him unencumbered largesse. The head table and floor looked frozen with unease. But the BOSS remained cool. 

SANTA: (Shouting) You see you Boss . . . you are the mastermind all of this! You claimed to have a PhD but you refuse to put it to good use! Look how “His Excellency” Dread, the most Honorable His Heir, is the High Commissioner for the Kingdom! Dread, the Hon Vaughan is the platform on which our Foreign Minister sits! Dread Jimmy is Science and Technology Czar! But look at you (Dread) sitting on your fat laurels and spinning a fantasy world around you, built on an imaginary (Cyber) House (which you call a PowerHouse) of which you have appointed yourself as the Dread (Cyber)Boss. You claim you have verified competencies, so much creativity and imagination and that’s all you do with them! You will forever remain a country bookie and a good-for-nothing! You can stay where you are forever and continue spreading false and foolish propaganda about me. I'm the real Boss! And like it or not . . . I'm going to win the next elections. For you information, ti Chass still loves me and he has handed me Choiseul/Saltibus on a platter. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

A tidal wave of silence mixed with petulance swept the Convention Floor! The LADELIN MONARCH and SAUL surreptitiously exchanged glances. How could a small man unleash so much fury?

SANTA (apparently impervious to the anti-mood of the moment continued): You can hide behind the scenes and on FB and call me Souccouyan till doomsday! The Kingdom prefers to be represented by a “Souccouyan” than a “Moomoo” project! In fact, you should be praising me for the quality leadership that I offer! I am the fulcrum on which the economy turns. I run a billion dollar industry and that to me is more important than anything else. I put my country first: Country before self! Country before you! And country before constituency!


SAUL: (Whispering to the LADELIN EMPEROR) Is this man is a billionaire terrorist . . .?

He mustered some courage and then tried to stand up on a point of order.

SAUL: Santa . . . 

SANTA: Saul! Don't interrupt me! Let me continue! I do not care much about the narrow interest of this insignificant and dying kingdom. I represent the whole economy – not a small, insignificant kingdom made primarily of bush! It is only a small piece of a whole! I focus on the whole, not the parts; and when the whole benefits, the parts automatically also do. I bring thousands of tourists here every year and this keeps the economy going and growing. If I fail, then the whole economy fails. Not even the PM can touch me. I do better than him.

SAUL: Santa, are you suggesting that you bigger than the PM . . . even before your foot touch the ground as the MP for the kingdom? 

SANTA (Glancing furiously at SAUL):  Is this any of your business, SAUL? I want everyone on this convention floor to get the facts straight. I don't claim to be PM; but let me make it clear that an MP of my calibre is also a 'kind of version" of a PM. Indeed, I am PM for the two constituencies I represent! You have to understand that I must balance my time in proportion to the dollar value of the two kingdoms.  Hence, the reason why you are likely to see me once or twice year; and also, hence the reason why certain places and people have never seen me and may never see me until elections are due.

LADELIN EMPEROR: Santa! Does this also explain why the LADELIN communities have never seen you? And does this also explain why you never went to see the Boss, Moses, Bithiah, de Wiseman from the East, Lord Bobol and the rest? Does that also explain why you fired Lady Bithiah?

BITHIAH: I can speak for myself! I don't wish anyone to put my tongue in their mouths!

SANTA:  As St. Lucia’s most honored and successful Minister, I have not only saved the Tourist Kingdom from collapse; I have also brought in billions to the country. Out of that, nearly 30 million have been spent in my Kingdom. I have not only done in two years what Ti Chaste could not do in five years, I have done a lot more! I have reversed the "receiverships" in the kingdom that happened under his tenure. The Le Paradis Kingdom has been bought over by new investors. But you ROPE fellahs have seen nothing yet! If I were the Minister for the Dayer Mall, that too would have been sold a long time. I know the calculus for success. If that to you is Souccouyan, then hail the Souccouyan!  When this Souccouyan fly in the sky, I fly for the good of my country! I am happy to be seeing my country looking good from up there! I don’t care if my kingdom constituency doesn’t see me. 

Unknown to him, Santa had apparently walked into the ROPE trap! A strange metamorphosis was taking place on the convention floor. As Santa's rage reached crescendo levels, he began to lost his power of speech and centre of gravity. Suddenly, he was prostrate and then he toppled on the convention floor. His typically youthful countenance which defined his "handsomeness" suddenly changed. Adam unaware of the plan, rushed to his rescue. When the metamorphosis completed, he regained his equilibrium.

He looked up to the Boss.

SANTA: BOSS, You have trapped me! I need to you see in chambers at the earliest convenience!

With those last words, Santa disappeared!

SAUL (Whispering to the LADELIN EMPEROR): De Boss ain't easy for true. De man completely dégajé Santa.

LADELIN EMPEROR: Did we have a choice? The kingdom does not tolerate Soccouyans! 

BITHIAH: Santa was mortal! He was just a damn boaster! 

SAUL: All boasters are fools! How could he have claimed to be a success story "up there" and he was such a dismal failure "down here" in the kingdom? Why didn't his performance turn the economy around? 

BOSS: We are now coming towards the end of Convention. We will now invite LORD BOBOL to make his presentation in calypso.

LORD BOBOL: 

“With elections around de corner

Here comes Souccouyan Santa

With his gang of missionary fellahs

To rub our foot with butter

But this time around, it’s over . . .

Neither Adam nor Eve has the power

To stop de “kabwiya” . . . De kabwiya . . . De Kabwiya . . . .

When we had problems with water

Where was de Souccouyan?

When we're dying of hunger . . . No pen in our penyen

Now we see de sun . . . . Bring in de  . . . De Kabwiya . . . De Kabwiya

Let’s Kabwiya de Souccouyan . . .

BOSS: Lord Bobol, I have to interrupt you! I want you to get one thing straight: ROPE is an institution, not an inquisition! I will never support any form of Souccouyan representation where a Santa representing us spends more time in the air than on the ground; but ROPE is not to hang! ROPE is to pull up our people from the doldrums of injustice and poverty and elevate and enlighten them! ROPE is to gird the loins of the poor, the oppressed, the meek and humble and to inspire HOPE!

BITHIAH: HOPE? HOPE . . . MY TOE! How does HOPE come into that? Damn with HOPE! This is a ROPE - not HOPE – CONVENTION. I worked for months for Santa and my reward was the rope. He put the Kabwiya around my neck and then hung me upside down! He didn't give me any hope. Why should I give him HOPE? All I got was rope, rope and more rope! But God is great! I now hold the end of the ROPE. I want to let him know that I am now standing at the gates of hell holding ROPE in my hand; He may still be able to fly but he can never hide. When the time comes, Mama Bithiah will be waiting at the gates of hell to give Mr Santa the most appropriate farewell with the ROPE. Praise God. Alleluia! Amen!

MOSES: Santa got the treatment he deserved; he has paid for his greed. I remember during de campaign he held tightly to all campaign monies! Never trusted his campaign team to manage the campaign finances. That should have told us something. If he didn't trust respectable team members who invested time, money and resources, then did we ever think he would ever have any confidence in them? It's no wonder he has done what he did!  Better a "Moomoo Project" to represent us than him. Let's leave the rest to God!

BITHIAH: Did Moses say "leave him for God"? 

LADELIN EMPEROR: We can't leave him for God! ROPE before God!

DREAD I FRED: For the last a couple of elections, I sat on the fence. When I saw Taddy and the Daban crew came out in full force, I thought there was something really good about Santa. So I took charge of the Saltibus Ridge. I joined with my Ground zero crew and together, we created a near earthquake which almost overturned Saltibus; but I must admit that getting involved in the 2011 election was my life’s greatest regret. Never before have the ancestral home of my PM seen greater neglect. I thank ROPE for a job well done!

ADAM: Boss, You don't have to take these bright fellahs who hardly visit the East! Saltibus (from Daban to Park Estate and Guyabois) are being well-looked after! Work on the Daban Road is ongoing; major rehabilitation works will soon begin on the Saltibus main road; in addition, the PM has commissioned road works on the Guyabois/O’Park Road starting all the way from Tete Morne. Indeed, as we speak, a 4 million drainage project is ongoing. That project was conceived by the Mighty Santa!

DREAD I FRED: Shut up Adam! You are a political reject! Why won’t allow Santa to represent the kingdom? I don’t want no twin-headed Souccouyan to represent me. If he knew that he couldn’t do the job, then he should have stayed out of the kitchen.

ADAM: OK . . . Dread I Fred! Isn’t ROPE a multi-headed monster designed to neutralise SANTA? Look at how many Flambeaus you have in ROPE!

BOSS: ROPE is not a multi-headed monster! It is a multi-sectorial, multidisciplinary entity, non-partisan entity. Everybody is entitled to support and advocate for his political party but not within ROPE! ROPE may not be neutral; but it is nonaligned.

At the point, I would like someone to move for the adjournment of the opening session of the Convention. We will go into recession and resume business during the Easter break when everyone will available again.

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 [j1]Mongouge